Pulp Fiction

Samuel L. Jackson swears a lot while shooting people. John Travolta almost kills Uma Thurman and then becomes a meme...Also a big black guy gets raped by a gimp and a cop. Welcome to America/10

Gladiator

Russel Crow becomes a sex slave. Russel crow becomes a sex Gladiator. Russel crow has sex kills and stabs people. Russel crow gets aids poisoned. 9/10

Pirates of The Caribbean

Johnny Depp gets slapped a lot. Legolas is pirate. There is Keira Knightly in it...everyone wants to bang her. I don't want to bang her. I want to passionately do stuff to her. This went to far.

nice/10

 

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Alan Rickman is a depressed robot. Martin Freeman goes on adventure to steal treasure from the dragon Smaug. Also Zoey Deschanel was in it apparently. Go figure. 42/10

Spiderman 3

Spiderman becomes Emo. Spiderman Dances like he got high on the wrong shit. Also Eric Forman is the bad guy. That 70's Show was great. 70/10

Transcendence

Apparently yesterday Will Caster was only human. I don't know what he is today. I didn't understand this film. My head hurts. ?/10

DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story

Vince Vaughn surprisingly does exercise in a film. Everyone gets a hammer thrown at their face. Ben stiller has a mustache. He also has sex with a pizza. F****** Chuck Norris. 3/3